Change Leadership · 5-minute read

Say It, Slow Down, Stop Talking

How to deliver a hard message, and how to prepare the people who will have to carry it after you do.

The Problem

A great plan can be undone by one badly delivered message.

You can do everything right on a change and still lose people in a single announcement. Communication is not a wrapper around the work. It is the part of the work most people actually experience.

Hard messages come in many forms: a reorganization, a layoff, a leader moving on, a decision that reverses something people care about. None of them get easy. Pretending otherwise is usually the first mistake. What you can control is how the message is prepared, how it is delivered, and what you do in the minutes after.

Before You Speak

Brief the messengers first.

Picture a reorganization announced to everyone at once. Managers learn the news at the same moment as their teams. Within minutes, people are at their door with questions the manager has not had a chance to think about. Even an hour of notice would have changed that conversation.

01
Tell leaders first. The people who will field questions need time to absorb the news before anyone asks them about it.
02
Anticipate the questions. Write down what people will ask. Get real answers from the people who have them.
03
Hand managers talking points. Give the managers and directors who will carry the message something ready to use, not just the announcement.
04
Make it relevant. Explain what changes for each group’s actual work. General statements leave people to fill in the specifics themselves.
In the Room

Five things to do when you deliver it.

01
Say it clearly. State what is happening and what is expected, in plain words. Clarity is a kindness here.
02
Slow down. Nerves push you to rush or to recite a rehearsed script. A slower, natural pace tells people this is hard for you to say too.
03
Stop talking. Say the message, then stop. Let the silence sit, even when it is uncomfortable. Ask one open question, such as “What are your thoughts?”, and leave it there. If the answer is “Can we talk later?”, that is fine.
04
Acknowledge, do not convince. Recognize what the person feels, including anger. Do not rush to the upside or push for acceptance. Unless it is a safety or compliance matter, acceptance cannot be demanded, and trying usually creates more resistance.
05
Keep it about them. Hold steady and do not react personally. Once the conversation becomes about your reaction, it stops being about theirs.
Afterward

Listen now. Encourage later.

In the first conversation, your job is mostly to listen. As people move toward acceptance, the balance shifts. That is the time to speak more, explain the reasons behind the decision, and recognize the progress they make.

Encouragement offered too early sounds like selling. Offered later, it sounds like support.

Try It

Before your next hard conversation.

Take ten minutes and write down your answers.

  • The message: What is happening and what is expected, in two sentences?
  • The messengers: Who needs to hear this before everyone else, and how much notice can they get?
  • The questions: What are the three questions you would least like to be asked? What are the honest answers?
  • The pause: What single open question will you ask, and can you stay quiet after you ask it?

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Where this work continues

Discovery Session A focused 60-minute conversation to identify what is actually worth addressing. Executive Advising & Consulting One-to-one advisory work for senior leaders, and engagement-based consulting for organizations. Free Resources Short, practical tools for leaders. Each one takes about ten minutes to use.